'Internet Outage Plunges Nation Into Productivity'

The satirical weekly, The Onion, reports how “an Internet worm that disabled networks across the U.S. Monday and Tuesday temporarily thrust the nation into its most severe maelstrom of productivity since 1992.” As one corporate IT systems administrator said, “The local-access network is functioning, so people can transfer work projects to one another, but there’s no e-mail, no eBay, no flaminglips.com. It’s pretty much every office worker’s worst nightmare.”